You've heard it before: "It's not about 'quantity time', it's 'quality time' that matters…" When it comes to time spent with your child, you actually need to have both – and you need to think about how each really looks…

Quality Time
While many parents feel they need to "Wow!" their kids on a regular basis this sets up unrealistic expectations in their relationship with their parents and can set them up for disappointment with life in general. (This can be a particularly strong feeling/pressure for non-custodial parents who may see their children only every other weekend or so.) Quality time doesn't need to cost a thing and it doesn't need to take all day. Taking time to go for a walk together can help you slow things down and catch up on things. Playing a board game or charades can help you share some humor and fun. Reading a book together provides cozy time and a common topic to talk about. Whatever you do, "quality time" is about really sharing an enjoyable experience and engaging in a meaningful way without distractions.

Quantity Time
So you've gone for a walk, read a book together, or played a game with your child, and you can feel good about that. But it's not enough. Your child needs to be with you for more than a few minutes – during those moments that may seem mundane or unimportant, your child still benefits from your presence. Whether it's knowing that you're available to help with homework or learning from how you organize yourself and engage with other people as you run your errands, you act as both a safe haven for your child and as a model from which your child will learn life skills. Your presence is powerful and should not be underestimated – spending quiet time in the same room as you each do your own thing is a subtle experience that fosters a feeling of belonging and connection.

Balance It Out
Most parents have very hectic daily schedules and it can feel like there isn't enough time in the day to do everything you want to do with your kids. But trust that time spent together doing everyday things (ex: homework, errands, etc) combined with even small moments of sharing relaxation or laughter will go a long way towards building a deep and satisfying relationship with each other.