A friend was observing the other day what wonderful parents another friend and her husband are to their two children, 2 and 4 years old. As she continued her comments and provided examples of good parenting behaviors she had observed in this couple, she described an experience that occurred when she had been invited to their home one day for dinner. As mom went about preparing dinner and dad had just arrived home, the 4-year-old asked his parents if they could play a board game; my friend expressed how impressed she was that this child's parents immediately stopped what they were doing and set up a board game with the young boy. As I listened to her recount this scenario, a little red flag went up in my head.

While it is absolutely wonderful when parents truly make their child(ren) a priority and children should not always be made to wait to gain adult time and attention, if an approach of "drop everything to honor the request of our child" is used too frequently, it can spell trouble for a child sooner or later. Not only will children often start to "act out" or tantrum when you are not able to make yourself immediately available but social issues with peers and teachers may ensue upon entering kindergarten where they will need to follow others' directions and group schedules. Learning delayed gratification and how to deal with sometimes not getting what one wants are critical tasks to positive emotional development early on in life. Striking a healthy balance between being readily available to play with your child and letting him/her wait for you to join in a preferred activity at another time can help you to raise children who are both secure in the love you have for them and secure that they will be able to wait for what they want.