Question:
I just moved and I'm starting at a new school and church. I've met some people at church, and they are SUPER nice! But I saw two other girls and I asked one of my new friends who they were. She told me that they were snobs. They look popular, pretty, and nice though. Not at all snobish. My friend told me that I shouldn't hang out with them and said it will only hurt me and the other girls agreed with her. But I don't believe them. This Wednesday I'm going to try to talk to them and be their friend. Do you think this is the right choice? I think so but I'm not sure. Help me out here?
Asbel, 12, GA
SIMPLY SWANSON
Dear Asbel,
I believe that people should try to get to know other people for themselves. There are many possible reasons that the group of three girls have decided that they do not like the other two girls but it's hard to know if the reasons are based on good judgment and fact or if they are based on jealousies or insecurities. You can thank your three friends for their concern and explain, "I really appreciate you trying to look out for me. I just like to try to be friendly with as many people as I can - if it doesn't work out, that's okay. I just wouldn't want anyone to think that I was being a snob! Besides, I like to challenge myself to see if I can find something interesting about a person that people might not know about, that could help everyone be friends." As time goes by, you'll figure out who will be a good friend to you.
– Dr. Marion
JUST JULIETTE
Dear Asbel,
I think talking to these girls is fine because you should get to know them yourself before you judge them based on what others say about them. Get to know them and then you will find out what they are like and whether or not they would be good friends for you. If you like the other two girls it doesn't mean you have to stop being friends with the group of three girls that you already met. They should be able to understand that you can have different friends.
– Juliette
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A Quick Reminder:
Everyone is different—what might work for someone else might not work for you. Dr. Swanson's and Juliette's ideas might give you a new way of looking at things but always talk with an adult you trust (parents, teacher, aunt/uncle) before making important decisions or if you have a serious problem.
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