The relationship you have with your family members is the most important one you have. But often it’s the first one you abuse. Being a good sister is about listening, being fair and keeping your cool. And when fights occur, it’s about knowing when to forgive and/or forget.

Do Unto Others

Whether you’re a big or little sister it’s important to stick to the basic rule, do unto others as you would have done to you. Think about how you would want your sibling(s) to react to you in any given situation. Take a deep breath before lashing out and think through all of your actions. Showing respect and love for your sibling(s) will earn you major points with them and probably even your parents.

Make Family Time Important

This is important when dealing with your parents but even more important when it comes to your sibling(s). Don’t completely shut them out -- if they need your attention or your help with something, try to give it to them. If your sibling(s) is younger they may seem annoyingly needy, you just have to remember that you’re the cool older sister. Of course, they’re going to want to hang with you. If you give them some of your time you might find they won’t bother you as much. And at a minimum you can use it as a bargaining chip with your parents when a sibling complains that you NEVER do anything with them.

Battle Wisely

Make sure you choose your battles with your sibling(s) carefully. Decide before you engage with them whether it’s really worth it. And if you do decide to fight, make sure you fight fair. It’s important to not engage in name calling or physical violence, where at all possible. Your parents will certainly come down on you if you do, so best to keep it clean. Sibling fights can often get dirty quickly because no one knows more about you then your own sibling(s). Try to stick to whatever the fight is really over and not throw in personal insults or other facts that don’t pertain to the actual problem. Fighting fair is not the easiest path to choose but it’s one you should always feel good about!

Keep Secrets Secret

Regardless of how you come across one of your sibling’s secrets it’s never cool to share it. Think about how you would feel if they shared one of your secrets? Try to always keep their secrets safe and you’ll likely get along better. If, however, your sibling is doing something that you consider dangerous to them or someone else, it is important that you talk to your parents or a trusted adult about the situation. But for everyday, random secrets it’s best to keep them to yourself. And while it’s NEVER right to blackmail, keeping those secrets could prove to be helpful to you one day.