Do you ever feel like you have to do something because your friends are doing it? Whether your friend is sneaking candy into her room after her parents said no, or staying up too late when she knows she should be going to bed, it seems like girls are always faced with the problem of doing things because their friends are doing them.

The thing is, it is harder than it seems to say no to them. What it takes is self-control and to do what you think is right.

For example, your friend calls you up the night before a test and she says that she wants to work out a cheating plan with you. Obviously you know that this isn’t right because cheating is not the way to succeed in life and you could get in a lot of trouble! You can tell by your friend's voice on the phone that if you say no to her, she will be mad at you. This puts you in a tough position. You know it's wrong, but you also don’t want to be in a fight with your friend. What you should do is tell your friend that you will help her study for the test if she wants your help, but that cheating on a test is just not right. This way, you are providing an alternative to the problem.

Instead of going along with it, try and think of a new idea to tell your friends. If your friends want to go swimming, but there are no parents to watch you in the pool, suggest that going in the sprinkler or having a water balloon fight might be a better idea.

If your friends don’t care what you have to say and still do something that you know is not right, it’s going to take a lot of self-control to not do those things with them.

Just remember that you should only do things that you want to do, and your friends should not pressure you into doing them.

– Juliette

Everyone is different—what might work for someone else might not work for you. Dr. Swanson's and Juliette's ideas might give you a new way of looking at things but always talk with an adult you trust (parents, teacher, aunt/uncle) before making important decisions or if you have a serious problem. Although we can't publish every question, we post new "Kids' Counsel" questions every Friday!!! So, check us out every week and be sure to visit "Past questions and answers" if you're looking for ideas!