To: Juliette
From: BrooklinEdwards
Subject: Friends

Hi, my name is Brooklin and I have been having trouble with my friend. She has been doing mean things lately. To start off, there was one girl (lets call her M) who got a boyfriend. Keep in mind that we are in sixth grade. M's friend A, then started getting left behind and ignored by M. M was spending so much time with her boyfriend that A got mad and decided to get a new, temporary friend. That new friend of hers was my friend L. L then did to us what M did to A. When we would walk down the halls she would never make eye contact with us. On our way to lunch she only talked to us when we sat down to eat. Those events started to continue, and we got more and more mad. We finally told her that at lunch time there is a no gossip and boy talk zone. she got so mad and left us alone to eat for a couple days later. Then, she posted a pic on instagram and it said, "they tell you to be yourself and then they judge you." That was the last straw for us. On that photo we then said, "you need to stop trying to hurt our feelings and ignoring us!" Of course she had something to say back and insults came. After a couple of times of confronting her of what she had been doing, she blocked us out of her life. That included: blocking me and my two friends on instagram, never making eye contact, calling my friend K a brat and liar, saying rude comments, telling everyone how "mean" we are, spreading rumors, and telling A that we were doing all of the stuff to her because we hate A. All of the stuff she says are lies. What should I do? Become friends with her again and go back to the terrible times, or end the friendship once and for all. I need an answer because soon she will go complete gossip on everyone. Please help, Brooklin

To: BrooklinEdwards
From: Juliette
Subject: Friends

Hi Brooklin. I'm sorry that you are having such a hard time with your friend. From what you described to me, it seems like you are saying "we" a lot and that could be a huge part of the problem. You may not realize it, because L is the the one who is spreading lies and saying mean things, but she might actually feel like she is being ganged up on by you and your other friends. She might be doing everything as a way to defend herself. I think the best thing you can do is figure out things with L on your own. Just focus on your friendship with her and talk to her one-on-one without your other friends there. This way, she will feel less ganged up on and you may be able to figure out what is going on with her. I think it's important that you address your friendship with her individually because even though it may not be your intention, telling L things as a group probably makes her feel attacked. I really think that if you focus on "I" (meaning you) and not "we" and "us" (meaning your group of friends), you'll be able to figure things out with L. Good luck!